Saturday 2 December 2006

Radio Ga Ga, Radio Goo Goo


Learning to drive and getting my own car has done many things for me. I can get from 2 Hillcrest Crescent to 8 The Willows in under 2 hours, Fintan. I develop patience by endless opportunities to sit in traffic. I can take advantage of being able to buy cookies late at night at 24hour Tesco. There are some drawbacks too but that's for another lazy Saturday night. The very best payoff of having a car has been the rediscovery of an old teenage flame. It used to be that I'd spend hours with this flame late into the night in my schooldays. Every night she'd put me to bed. Sometimes with a husky voice, muffled and difficult to hear; other times she'd sing to me or lull me to sleep with her dolcid tones. She'd bring me to Liverpool matches, concerts and comediens. But I left my first love, the radio, for her biggest enemy and rival, television. It wasn't anything she said or didn't say, it wasn't that she'd become ugly. But none of my friends wanted to hang out with her. They preferred the new girl. They had girls like her and thought radio was on her way out like Celine Dion.

But the car has reunited us; we're back together like Tony Christie and the top of the charts; like P. Simon & A. Garfunkel, like Liz Taylor and yer man; like Henrik Larsson and British football; like oblivion and English rugby; like Carl and Susan.......

So the 10 top reasons (no particular order) why radio is a better companion than tv:

1. Radio respects the place of your wise old friend, the BBC. She lets you hang out with him any time you want; she lets him bring you and your mates to all sporting events and not just the ones SkySports hasn't bothered stumping up the cash for like three-day eventing and World Badminton Championships.

2. There are no aspects of radio (that I like) that are owned by Rupert Murdoch.

3. Radio never invites Louis Walsh in for the evening.

4. Radio doesn't ask you to pay a lump sum once a year to have a relationship, or to pay extra for particular services. There's a name for that.

5. Television has never heard of Seán Moncrief & Ger O'Sullivan (Newstalk), Daft Dave (Rightprice Tiles ad) or Fighting Talk (BBC 5Live).

6. Radio doesn't need to put on a whole load of make up every time you want to spend time together.

7. Radio loves you to keep active. You can work, read, drive and spend time with mates with radio around and you won't miss a thing she has to offer.

8. Big brother would never work on the radio.

9. There has never been a celebrity love island on the radio.

10. You can introduce your parents to radio and not be afraid of nudity causing embarrassment between you all.

2 comments:

Graeme said...

I think you could be on to something with this... especially the Big Brother / Love Island thing. However, I Celeb. could be very entertaining. All we could hear would be the screams of famous people being tortured. I could live with that. On TV all I hear are the screams of the viewers as they are tortured with such Televisual Tripe.

The Dud said...

you can watch tv with your parents and keep your clothes on in this part of the world!!!